No Money, Mo' Problems

The title to this song seems to contradict itself because more money would mean less problems for me, especially these days.

I recently spent a lot on my father's recent credit card bill. As with all of my outlandish spending sprees, he addressed me about it. Usually, the convo would go like this:

INT. - BEDROOM - DAY

Vixon is on the computer, when his father walks in with an envelope and some papers in hand.

Dad

Vixon, have you see the bill? (X amount).

Vixon

(surprised)

What?

(takes bill from Dad, looks at total)

Dad

I keep telling you (not to use your phone during the day/

use the credit card only for emergencies)

Vixon

Okay, (I'll use my computer to make calls more/ I won't use the credit card as much)

(hands bill back to Dad)

At this point, my Dad would walk out the room and we both knew what would happen next; he would plan to pay off the bill and I would briefly think about not overusing again. This time around, my father started off with "Vixon, you're going to put me in an early grave." I've never heard my father say that before. I always cringe at the thought of my father's untimely (but inevitable) demise, but him mentioning that because of finances is another story. Granted, he wasn't being serious, but he did catch my full attention with that statement. He showed me the credit card bill and (though I won't share the amount) it's a good deal of money that someone without a job shouldn't be spending.

I felt bad (obviously not bad when my hand got use to pulling out the card and watching the swiping spree commence) because I was negligent and careless in my spending habits. If I was using my debit card (aka my own money), I would be mentally tracking how much money I have and how much each expense is worth so that I don't overspend. I will admit, after the conversation, I thought that everything would be as it were and the bill will be "handled," but after sharing with my friends what I've done, they strongly suggested I pay my father back what I spent. Usually, that thought would sound ridiculous, but they had a point. For a long time (aka all my life), I have allowed myself to be covered for things I would do and not take responsibility, especially financial trouble. I always had my father there to bail me out. This time, I need to show my father and myself that I must start paying what I owe in life.

I plan to pay back my father the full amount with my first few paychecks. Knowing my father, he may decline the offer and we'd have to have a talk about this, but I'm not going to give up until he takes the money. It's all about establishing some principles and becoming more of an adult. Giving away that money won't feel great, but I created the situation and I must pay my way out of it. Nothing says I'm ready to grow up than to start paying up.

-Video Vix[o]n